My mother was 26 years old when she received her proposal. She needed time to reflect and she decided to head to Lourdes in southern France. On a journey to the Lourdes Shrine, in 1858, a young woman named Bernadette Soubirous saw the phantom of the Virgin Mary, and my mother followed her on the path of millions of pilgrims before her, who came to the shelter to seek spiritual or physical healing.
I never asked her about the details of her trip, which I now regret. To my shame, I rolled my eyes in disapproval. The decision to get married is always a huge life choice, but in 1958, a woman would be in danger. My mother would have to sacrifice her career as a teacher because the “marriage bar” was until the 1970s when women asked women to resign after marriage.
Now that she is gone, I want to learn more about the mother's thoughts on this trip. How did this small town in southern France provide women with clear clarity at a critical moment in her life?
As her two-year death year approached, I was surprised to offer my sister a four-day break with her mother’s close friend, Mary McElroy. Maybe it was another attempt to fill the huge gap she left in her life, or I wanted to try to connect with a young woman for answers.
Friends and family were having fun when I tried to explain my motivation. I couldn't help feeling my “street credibility” was damaged. Of all the mini blasts offered, no one, at least I thought I would pack my luggage and make a pilgrimage to Lourdes.
After a two-hour Ryanair flight from Dublin, we landed in Lourdes on a sunny blue Saturday morning at 8 a.m. Lourdes is not what I expected: I think it might be spare and looks serious. Actually, my first impression was a French town located in the Pyrenees. The De Pau River is glittering in the morning sun.
Mary is a retired nurse who has been volunteering for people with disabilities and health challenges for years, so she knows the ropes. My plan is that we will spend a day as pilgrims while the other three days explore the surrounding area. But it all changed once we attacked the shelter of Our Lady of Lourdes, where St. Bernadette saw her vision for the Virgin Mary.
Mass in the cave of Massabielle in the Sanctuary of Our Lady of Lourdes. Photo: Lionel Bonaventure/AFP/Getty The shelter of Our Lady of Lourdes. Photo: Lionel Bonaventure/AFP/Getty
Our Lourdes guide, Mary, took us directly to the arrival shelter. She has a list of “must do things” and we follow her into the queue, touching the rocks that happen.
However, the best part is to sit in front of the cave and observe a large crowd, some people who are stuck when they hit the rocks. A woman crawled on her hands and knees, her hands moving around the rocks, while volunteers placed the elderly and young people in wheelchairs. Watching faith in action is fascinating.
Then we went into the shower. I remember my mom talking about being instilled in an ice-cold water bath, said to have healing power. This can still be done under the guidance of volunteers. However, we chose a less extreme version. A volunteer took us into a small room with a soaking bathtub. She prayed with us and poured the water on our hands. She guided us to wash our hands and drink water on our faces. Then, she tells us to pray for any intention. I desperately searched for signs of my mother, but I didn't feel it yet.
Notre Dame Cathedral. Photo: Lionel Bonaventure/AFP/Getty
St Bernadette has a movie every day in his life in the information center of the sanctuary. One can also take a hike called “The Footsteps of Bernadette”, an opportunity to discover places she is familiar with, including the mill where she was born, the building she lived with her family during her fantasy in 1858, the hospice near her sisters, educated by the parish church of the North sisters and baptism font, and used baptism font for ther her Christianity in her parish church. The St. Bernardette Museum tells the story of her life through personal belongings and artifacts. A person can follow the itinerary alone or accompany the tour guide.
There are three stunning Basilicas on the site that are definitely worth a visit to their art and architecture as well as excellent stained glass windows and mosaics.
We were told that the Lourdes are very commercial. Yes, the streets near the grottoes are lined with hotels, restaurants, shops, rosary, statues and holy water bottles for sale. But in another country, which may be considered cheesy, seems complicated in France. Perhaps due to the charming streets and the relaxed elegance of French suppliers.
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There are many ways to explore Lourdes and the surrounding areas, but most cave visitors take the “little train”. This is a 45-minute tour that surrounds all the must-see places around the town itself, giving you a chance to get the location. A place to pause is the 100-year-old cable car, which allows tourists to head to one of the peaks of the scenic scenery. At the top, the walking trail leads to an observer and enjoys panoramic views of the Lourdes and the Pyrenees.
PICULUL
This is Lourdes' biggest surprise. This is the ideal foundation for exploring the Pyrenees National Park, its huge peaks, mountain lakes, valleys and mountain villages. Some highlights include Lake Gaube, which you can land on an hour’s hike or chair; Cirque de Gavarnie is a huge national amphitheater and one of the highest waterfalls in Europe.
The Pyrenees are also home to Hautacam, famous for the Tour de France climbing, and it happened that our visit was with a group of Dublin cyclists based on Lourdes while spending two nights in town while riding mountain bikes on the hills.
Everything about Lourdes is connected to the mountains. Just 3 km from the town is Lac du Lourdes. A 6 km walk or bike ride along the lake with stunning views of the mountains. It is also an ideal place for cooling swimming and water activities such as canoeing or standing paddles.
Lourdesburg Castle, the historic castle and museum in the town
There are many restaurants near the sanctuary. We chose a New Orleans cafe near the accommodation. It offers a friendly waiter and relaxing atmosphere for simple traditional French cuisine.
The food was delicious and the local wines in the area were very good. We also enjoyed our own dinner at the Grand Gallia & Londonres. The highlight is its beautiful garden – the perfect place for after-dinner cocktails. If you explore the countryside around Lourdes, about 10 km outside the town, it provides a very good outdoor dining area. It is famous for its luxurious desserts. Cantine Lo Vetere is an Italian restaurant about 5-10 km outside the town and is also worth a visit.
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For diehard gourdes, Halles de Lourdes has beautiful architecture and is a must. Here, producers and traders are pleased to invite visitors to taste all the food, including the famous local specialty: Tommedes Pyrénées cheese.
One of the highlights for me is the night candlelight parade. Every night at 9pm, from April to October, thousands of pilgrims gather to walk and sing hymns of candles. Hail Mary is recited, and the street Maria sang in different languages. It's hard to stay still.
These years ago, when my mother Kathleen returned from Lourdes, she accepted the proposal. She married my father's Donie on August 14, 1958. They have been together for 65 years until she died on July 14, 2023. Our heartbroken father followed her 11 months later on June 5, 2024.
Donal O'Mahony and Kathleen Cronin
I don't know what I expected to find in Lourdes…a sense of peace, sorrow, perhaps some kind of spiritual awakening. As I wrote this on the second anniversary of my mother’s death, I was reflecting on what I found. I realized that I needed to build relationships with people who were still with us, people who knew and loved her. Part of her will always be alive when spending time with them.
How to get there
We paid 296 euros from Dublin in July 2025 with Ryanair. The pilgrimage was organized by Joe Walsh Tours (Joewalshtours.ie) and Bartenders (TravelNet.ie)